What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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