Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
