Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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