He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
