saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
