what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
