i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
