yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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