Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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