He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm always down for nudity.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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