What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
