idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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