After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize