don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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