That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
