Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
