I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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