I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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