lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
