Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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