I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize