Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think I won the penis lottery.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
