but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
