do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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