The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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