They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
