the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
