i think my mom watched the whole time
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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