Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
