Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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