is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize