God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
