ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
