Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
