i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
