I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
