hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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