do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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