This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
