No stitches, just platelets and will power
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
