Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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