why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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