I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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