Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
