Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
