Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
