Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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