Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
