At least make sure they are 18
Why
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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