it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
