Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
