ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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