He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
