Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I could fuck to npr.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
