Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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