we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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