don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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