Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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