He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
