So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
