so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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