I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
