well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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