fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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