I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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