I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
