Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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