Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
