I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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