Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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