Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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