fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
