If that was your dad, he is hot
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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