yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
