i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize