Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
